On Tour With the Black Veil Brides
by Sheridan Blackhead
Summary: Ever wonder what the crazy Black Veil Brides guys get up to everyday? Well, here are a collection of some of their hilarious antics.
1. Checking In

**Chapter 1 – Checking In**

'Oh, yes!' shouted a genuinely excited Andy, gleefully surveying his new surroundings. 'This is the life! This is what we want!'

He clocked a fresh bottle of champagne sitting on the desk in the corner of the room, just underneath the wall-mounted CRT television. 'We are living the dream!' he stated to his bandmates, who were standing in the doorway together, looking at him as if he was a madman.

'Are you being serious, man?' asked Ashley. 'I can't tell if you're joking.

Andy uncorked the bottle of bubbly and poured the frothing fluid into his wide open mouth. With champagne overflowing out of his gob, running down the contours of his nude chest and onto the freshly cleaned carpet, Andy replied: 'Of course I'm being serious. Why do you think I would be joking?'

The rest of the guys laughed.

'Take a look around!' Andy shouted, indicating to objects around the room. 'There are only two single beds, for starters!'

'Yeah, and look at that TV, man,' piped up CC from behind Andy. 'This place sucks serious ass.'

Shaking his head, Andy defended his room. 'Look, this room isn't for us all, obviously. Jake, CC, Jinxx, your rooms are down the hallway.'

He took another swig from the bottle, but managed to get more on the floor than in his mouth.

'CC,' he said, wiping a mixture of saliva and champagne off his youthful chin, 'my TV isn't your concern, OK? _You_ have one _exactly_ like it in _your_ room.'

'But, just look at it!' replied CC, pointing at it with both hands. 'It's tiny! How are we meant to watch anything on it?'

'It doesn't matter anyway,' said Jinxx with an apparent tone of sarcasm. 'English TV sucks anyway! It's all politics this and embroidery that. You'll just turn it off after five minutes.'

'Yeah, you've got a point, but we're not even in England, are we?' said Andy. 'We're in Scotland, you fool! Don't you remember high school Geography, Jinxx?'

'England, Scotland, it's all the same,' replied Jinxx, trying to pretend that he hadn't made such a simple schoolboy error. 'Anyway, that probably means that there'll just be shitty bagpipe music and haggis on TV instead. Scots love that crap.'

'Don't go hating on Scotland,' said a clearly offended Andy. 'Just look at it!'

With a camp flourish, Andy skipped to the window in the room and opened the curtains, unveiling a picturesque view of a drab industrial estate and an enormous Tesco hypermarket poking into view in the distance.

'Gentlemen, welcome to Aberdeen!' said Andy with a ridiculous amount of pride.

The rest of the gang continued to stare at him as if he was a lunatic, in silence, for at least twenty awkward seconds.

CC took it upon himself to break the silence. 'How much did the label spend on this place?'

'Take a guess!' shouted Andy from across the room, with a massive toothy grin plastered across his gorgeous face.

'Uh, I dunno,' said CC with zero interest. 'They got it for free?'

'Wrong!' bellowed Andy.

'I don't care, I hate your shitty games anyway.'

'Well I'll tell you then!' trumpeted Andy, clapping his hands together, creating a powerfully loud noise that brought the group to attention. 'Our management paid just _sixty-six _pounds, _per night, __**per person!**_ Isn't that great value for money?'

The guys continued staring. Andy had lost it. He was a goner.

'How much is that in US dollars?' asked Jake, who wasn't in the hotel room at all, but standing in the hallway outside.

'Oh shut up, Jake,' said Jinxx, along with moans and groans from the rest of the group.

'Well,' said Andy, 'I'm glad you asked! Currently, at the time of me saying this to you – which is of course 9:48pm on Sunday the 26th of February 2012 – the current pound to dollar rate is at 1.58645.'

'That's just $104.71 per person a night,' said Ashley, brandishing a scientific calculator in his hand.

'He's right,' said CC, also holding a calculator. Andy has managed to get CC interested in the topic. 'How many nights are we staying for, again?'

Andy kept his manic grin as he delivered the reply: 'We shall be staying here, at the Aberdeen West Premier Inn, for a full THREE nights!'

Ashley and CC tapped away at their respective calculators, before saying together, in perfectly synchronised unison: 'That's a mere $314.13 for our entire stay, which also equals up to £198!'

'I knew you'd be impressed!' said a smug, nodding Andy. 'That also includes our breakfast in the morning, so we can treat ourselves to a great traditional British fry-up every day! Cool, huh?'

The gang nodded.

'Yeah,' said Jinxx. 'That is pretty cool.'

Andy nodded and smiled at Jinxx, who swiftly returned the facial gesture.

The pair embraced this heart-warming moment of male bonding. The atmosphere in the Premier Inn room quickly turned pleasant and warm, and made the other members of the Black Veil Brides smile as they enjoyed this touching minute of loving friendship.


	2. Wild in Wales (Andy's Birthday): Part 1

Jinxx, CC and Jake dashed through the front door of their Welsh rented cottage to prevent a further soaking from the deluge of rain pouring unapologetically out of the heavens. Clutching plastic carrier bags dripping with water, the trio tried their best to get from the front porch, through the hallway and into the small but beautifully decorated kitchen while carefully trying not to get any mud from their dirty rock 'n' roll boots onto the immaculate cream carpets.

'I can't believe it!' came a loud voice from the kitchen. Jinxx, CC and Jake froze in the hallway and looked at each other.

'Was that Ashley?' asked CC.

Jinxx replied: 'Sounded like him.'

'Wonder what he's so mad about,' added Jake.

'Shut up Jake!' said CC and Jinxx together.

The three continued their journey into the kitchen to see Ashley, completely topless, shouting into his BlackBerry to their manager.

'They've done it again! They've gone and messed up our accommodation again!' yelled Ashley. 'How on earth is it wise to put us in a cottage 200 miles away from Cardiff? _How?_ Answer me that!'

The four exchanged looks with each other, Ashley nodding at his three drenched bandmates as a greeting.

'Oh, don't give me that shit Nathan!' Ashley continued. 'We're in the middle of the Welsh countryside here! What if we got stuck behind farm traffic on our way to Cardiff, or if there was some sort of sheep explosion or something like that?'

There was another little pause as Ashley let his inaudible manager defend himself. Again, the four looked at each other for an awkward moment that seemed to last an eternity.

'Well I don't know, do I? How am I meant to know what goes on in this crazy country? Anything could happen in this place! I've heard some pretty weird stories, Nathan!'

Again, another pause. (If this was on television or if it was a movie I wouldn't need to explain these pauses because they'd be self-explanatory, but because this is text I need to, in quite a lot of detail. Sorry about that.)

'Right, well I'm going now Nathan. Make sure our tour bus driver gets the right details for his GPS. Okay now, bye bye.' Ashley hung up. 'Ugh, what an absolute jerk. Our manager is a jerk. What a jerk!'`

Jinxx, CC and Jake looked at him, cold, wet and shivering, like three abandoned puppies.

'Oh, sorry guys. I'll turn the heating on,' said Ashley. 'Actually, it is quite chilly isn't it? I think I'll put my shirt back on.'

The guys watched as Ashley put on a tight-fitting Young Guns t-shirt, complete with a massive photo of Gustav Wood's face printed across the front of it. 'We went to Morrisons,' CC said. 'We got some shopping for the cottage.'

'Ooh, brilliant!' said Ashley in approval. 'The Lord will be pleased!'

'Where is he?' asked Jinxx.

'Who, the Lord?' Ashley replied. 'He's upstairs having his beauty sleep.'

Jake shook his head in disbelief. 'That's the stupidest thing he's ever made us call him. I hate it.'

'Oh, just shut up Jake,' said Ashley. 'No one even likes you.'

'We got some milk and a new loaf of bread,' CC continued, 'and we treated ourselves to some CDs too! Just to put on while we're making breakfast, y'know.'

'Fabulous! What did you guys get?'

'Just this and that,' Jinxx told Ashley. 'The latest Now album, the new Green Day one, and we got a couple for the Lord's birthday present too.'

A loud voice with a strange fake-English accent bellowed from up the stairs. 'Did someone say they got me some CDs for my birthday?' Everyone tried to hush each other.

'Err, no!' said a panicked Ashley. 'You must have been hearing things, Lord!'

Andy began to walk down the stairs, holding his hands away from his stomach as if he was pretending to have a fat belly, taking huge heavy steps, and pulling a strange facial expression similar to pouting. 'I don't think I've been hearing things!' said Ashley in the same loud voice that came from upstairs. 'I think I heard everything absolutely correctly! And I am happy to fight anyone that says otherwise!'

Ashley looked at Andy. Andy looked at Ashley.

'Are you calling me a liar, Ashley?'

'No, Lord!'

'Do you want to have a little fight with the Lord, Ashley?'

'No, of course not!'

'Well I do, Ashley, because I'm the Lord!'

And with that, Andy pounced on Ashley, bringing him straight down to the linoleum floor.

**IS ANDY MENTAL?**

**IS ASHLEY OK?**

**WILL JAKE SHUT UP?**

**AND WHAT CDS DID THE GUYS GET ANDY FOR HIS BIRTHDAY?**

**FIND OUT NEXT TIME!**


End file.
